All throughout my life, there have been two phrases that I’ve been most afraid of hearing girls say.
One is kind of universal. Some of us guys are like kids in adult bodies – we believe everything we hear without questioning it. Life is simpler that way. So, when a girl pitches in with a “Bro”, we are already picturing a dude holding a mug of beer in hand. It’s worse if she happens to be our crush because we guys would use that term with a girl, only as a signal to her, or in rare cases, to ourselves, that there wouldn’t be any serious relationship down the line.
The second one is slightly more complicated. This generally happens when I am in the middle of a normal day-to-day conversation, the usual small talks interspersed with wit and humour, when all of a sudden, I drop a line that she instantly connects to and blows it entirely out of proportion by saying,
"You are my soulmate."
Said jokingly or otherwise, it surely means one thing. Our souls could be merged into divine unity in the spiritual world through intellectual exchanges, but by no means would our bodies have a chance to unite in the physical realm. This is the single most disappointing truth that guys with slightly above average intelligence must deal with. In most cases than not, you’ll find that the girl (ok fine, “or the guy who says it”) is already in a romantic relationship with someone else or doesn’t want to build one with you in the fear of ruining the inexplicable connection that was established over thoughtful conversations. I understand. As we progress through the different levels of thinking, it becomes difficult to find someone who has the capability of receiving and recognizing what we know or feel. We would not want to mess around with that treasure.
But seriously, why does it have to be that way?
In one of his books, Sadhguru, an Indian yogi, says that every human being is a unique combination of the same ingredients – karma, gnana, bhakti, kriya. If these four dimensions – body, mind, emotion, energy - don’t walk together, you will be one big mess.
The simplicity of these two lines and the meaning they carry are astounding. Although Sadhguru’s observation was meant to be taken in the bigger scheme of things, I thought it was a perfect framework for
20’s vicenarians to understand the nuts and bolts of 'relationship'. So here
I was trying to fit in the nuts and bolts in all possible places to fasten the
multiple parts of relationship together.
Dissection of the four dimensions
The body is driven by lust and attractive physical features; the mind desires intellectual stimulation; emotion seeks moral support and validation; energy…well it’s like that ball of fire around Shadow Moon seen by Laura in American Gods. Or the electricity which lights up a bulb. Not tangible, but it’s the driving force of nature. Apparently.
In any case, energy is something that I wouldn’t want to delve into as it requires capabilities beyond the normal sense perceptions. It’s like the love that you are unconsciously emanating towards my blog at this very moment. But you wouldn’t realize it until you have entered a deep meditative state.
We think that thought and emotion are separate by associating them with head and heart respectively. While the head feels the need to hold intelligent conversations, the heart is tugged towards our love or in some cases, ex love, thanks to the memento that we are unable to let go – a picture, a letter, a book, a locket, a ring, or any other reminder held close to our heart, at times, quite literally.
In yoga, there is no separation of head and heart; you are a single, unified being. Thought and emotion are just two dimensions of the mind. Thought is not as intense as emotion in most people’s experience but a select few can generate an intense enough thought that could be so overwhelming that there would not be a need for emotion. We call them deep thinkers. Ideally it is not advisable to create polarities between mind and emotion within ourselves; by doing so, we are just inviting internal conflicts and recurring bouts of depression.
And at the same time, if your body is aligned in an entirely different direction, then you are either heading towards a massive train wreck or you are simply a super human or a martyr. For your own mental well-being, it is best to find someone towards whom you can channel all the four dimensions.
With this new-found enlightenment, I called up V, the gorgeous V, what with the vibrating charm and all.
Our minds had tangoed across the ballroom for a long time now. We were not Beckett and Castle who could finish off each other's sentences, but we could always get what the other was saying. She had even mentioned once that I was her soulmate when I had got her mildly inebriated. Although it was bitter-sweet at that moment, thanks to yoga, I now realized that our thoughts, one of the four dimensions, had been in sync. Theoretically speaking, trigonometry and evolutionary biology favored the smooth unification of our bodies, and I had always felt the undercurrents of energy flowing around us when we were out spending time together. Emotion was the only closure that I needed. It was on that impulse that I had picked up the phone and dialed in my favorite number.
V picked up on the fourth ring.
“V, our minds are connected but our hearts are not.
Yoga’s the way, could you give it a thought.
That memento is all that you need to let go,
Be my valentine and forever we grow.”
Give it a thought, she did. There was a heavy silence followed by the loud clicking of the gears turning in her head. The energy waves were traveling to-and-fro through our devices. The stars were aligning in the sky surely indicating the slow awakening of her inner eye. I could hear her inhale before she uttered the words with care allowing them to penetrate through my invisible energy layer, thick skin, and Neanderthal skull.
“What are you saying, bro?”